O' Fun For... thwarting my attempts at plumbing

...or at least my attempts to sport the plumber's choice in pants.

It's all thanks to Spandex. This is rather shocking in light of my history with the stretchy sparkly fabric. One time in high school during cross country practice I made a wayward comment about Spandex involving the drill team, which was overheard (and misunderstood) by a very indignant Drill Team coach, who then passed the information on to the rest of her team. This lead to my being forced into writing an apology to the entire drill team on behalf of the cross country team, and getting cussed out in the halls by some drill teamers who were very defensive of their Spandex. (Who then turned away in unison and marched down the hall, arms flapping and heads bobbing in time to their marching... no, but that would have been a lot cooler...)

So who would have thought my saggy pants savior would have come in Spandex form?! I am humbled. And now, to show my new found respect for the elastic fabric of the gods, here is my...

STRETCHY PANTS TUTORIAL!

This is a picture-riffic tutorial on how to make maternity pants that actually stay up! It's true! They'll be there to cover your rapidly expanding bum through it all- the sitting and standing, the bending, the climbing of stairs... you get the idea. Let's begin...

You'll need:

*one pair of jeans, preferably low rise with a bit of stretch
*one big ol' piece of Spandex- not too thin a piece, preferably the kind that stretches up and down as well as side to side. (check out SpandexWorld- they have a minimum purchase requirement, but you could get extra to make a swimsuit... you know, for that time far off into the future when you decide it is safe to wear a swimsuit again...)
*plus a tape measure, thread, pins, all that sewing stuff

I have made a bunch of these now, and since they do- to some extent- grow with you, the specific size of the jeans you start with doesn't matter too much, as long as they are a few sizes bigger than you wear while not all knocked up. Really it's all about whether or not your preggo thighs want to fit into them or not that really matters.

STEP ONE: measure around your jeans about one inch or so below the waistband, all the way around. Now subtract a few inches from this, and you have the length for your Spandex measurement.

STEP TWO: Cut a rectangle from your spandex measuring 12 inches x the measurement you got at the end of step one.

STEP THREE: With right sides together, fold the Spandex rectangle in half so the 12" sides are touching. Sew a seam along the 12" side. (See the picture, my words are not working...) You should now have a Spandex tube. Try it on around your middle and make sure it is snug. Then take it in or taper the seam or whatnot as needed. In my example I needed to take the seam in more at the top then the hip area, so it tapers at the top. Just how snug to make it depends on how thick and stretchy your fabric is. The point is to make it stay put without your needing to hold it up while still not crushing your internal organs. Cut off extra seam allowance from the side seam.

This pic shows the seams:



This one shows how the tube should fit, (and what I have learned in my Photoshop class...):

STEP FOUR: Really quick before you forget, hand sew the zipper of your pants closed about halfway down the fly, like this:

STEP FIVE: With right sides together, pin your Spandex tube to your pants. The tube is smaller than the pants, so stretch the tube to fit as you pin. Make sure to line the tube seam up with one of the side seams on the pants. Now, hopefully to clarify and not confuse, I'll explain what you should have here. Looking at the pants you should see the pants inside the tube, and the tube is inside out and upside down. (The part you measured for your hips is on top and pinned to the jeans, the part you measured around your rib area is scrunched up awkwardly around the thighs of the jeans. If that was confusing just ignore it...)

It should look something like this:

STEP SIX: Use a zigzag or some stitch with a bit of stretch and sew the tube to the jeans about 1/2" from the top. (look at the picture above...) Start at one side of the fly and work around until you get to the other side of the fly. Don't sew over the zipper. Your machine won't like that. Also be careful for metal rivets or snaps or things like that as you sew.

**Reinforcing all seams by sewing twice or something is recommended since they will get a lot of strain put on them as you get freakishly huge**

That's it! Pull that panel on up and ta-da! Enjoy your pants! You can wear them before you get too big by zipping the fly like normal and folding the waistband over your hips to keep your pants firmly in place, like a belt. As you get larger and larger, you can unzip the fly (to the point where you sewed it shut at least) and pull that stretchy tube o' fun up to yer armpits there under your shirt.

Here are the pants worn with the waistband folded down:


And here they are worn with it pulled up:


Now go do some squats! No, that sounds tiring. Maybe instead put on your stretchy pants and go eat some brownies while you watch American Idol. Yes. Try that.

o' fun for... endless crafting

Sorry it's been so long! To make up for it, I will post something new every weekday this week. Oh yes.

To begin, here is a link that you will love. (Or else!) It's the Top 100 Tutuorials of the year as ranked by http://www.thelongthread.com/ It is full of crafty goodness, so stick your kids in front of some Disney and get to it! (What? No.. that's not what I really do... that was just a joke...)

I recently made the kimono from a tutorial on the list. It is the 0-6 month size for a friend's baby shower gift. (I missed the shower, but late gifts are still fun, right?) Now I just have to deliver it before I decide to keep it for my baby...



No, I won't keep it. I'll just make one for Ellie also and then my friend and I can have matching wise-yet-comfy looking baby girls.

Enjoy the tutorial fun!

O' Fun For... people who like chess and their families

I realized I have never revealed the super-secret present I made for James' Christmas present. Well, the wait is over. Here is a picture of the super-secret present:



Still confused about just what is is? Well, I have a tradition of giving James a chess set each year for Christmas. This year I forgot to get one until after I had spent all the money I had budgeted on his other presents. So, I made a set of chess pieces from our family. I admit, it looked a lot cooler in my head, but there it is. James is the king, I am the queen, Toby is the Bishop, Brady the Knight, Ellie will be the rook just as soon as we get an actual picture of her, and Duke is all of the pawns. It worked well that we had the pictures of us in the Vanguard-themed party hats from James' birthday. I should learn to take more pictures as I make things so I can have better tutorials, but I guess a step-by-step will do for anyone who actually feels the need to have one of these super-cool chess sets of their very own.

1. Find pictures of all the people/animals that will be used. You need to see their whole face. Crop them in photoshop so you have just the faces, each about 1-1.5" wide.

2. Still in photoshop, cut and paste each face onto a letter-paper-sized blank background. If you are having trouble getting the images to stay the right size after pasting, make sure the resolution is the same for both the original image and the background you are pasting onto. You will need to paste the faces multiple times so you get the right amount of images for all the pieces. Make: 2 of the king's face, 2 of the queen's face, 4 of the bishop's face, 4 of the knight's face, 4 of the rook's face, and 16 of the pawn's face.

3. Copy each sheet of faces you made, and then flip the images horizontally, so you have the mirror-images of each sheet. This will give you a front and a back for each piece.

4. Print the sheets of faces you made, and cut them out.

5. Using fimo (polymer) clay, shape the bases for the pieces. I rolled the clay into balls about 3/4-1" wide, and then smooshed down from the top all around so they had flat bottoms. If you want marbley pieces, fold two colors together before you roll it into a ball. Use whatever colors and designs you want to designate which piece is which. (crowns, horseshoes, castle towers, etc.) Make a hole in the top-center of each piece with the wire you plan on using to hold the heads on. Bake the clay according to package directions.

6. Use wire-cutters to cut pieces of thick, sturdy wire for the posts of your pieces. Mine were about 2.5-3" long. You can make them taller or shorter for different pieces.

7. Cut a piece of packing tape or clear contact paper the size of your head-pieces. Lay one cut-out head face down onto the sticky side.

8. Put a thin row on hot glue onto the top of one of your wire posts. Lay it onto the back of the head piece you have taped. Use the mirror-image cutout of the same head to sandwich the gluey-wire. cover with another pice of tape. Now you have a sandwich- tape, head, wire, head, tape.

9. Cut away the excess tape- now it should just cover the head-piece with a bit extra around it.

10. Put a tiny bit of glue onto the end of the wire with no head. Shove it into the hole on the fimo-clay base.

TA-DA!! See? No? Well, I'm sorry, but that's the best I can do without pictures.

Next time I'll take pictures so you have some idea of what the heck I am talking about. Tutorials work better with images.

O' Fun For...my newly ear-holed sister

My sister Chelsey turned 21 this week. We were going to go get drunk, but that fell through when we realized that we don't drink. Blast! Instead, I thought I'd do something equally wild, and make a pair of earrings for her newly-pierced ears. Oh yes. I just get crazy sometimes. Don't try to stop me.

I made two pairs of the same earrings since my sister-in-law Corin requested a pair to go with the necklace I made for her last birthday, and these happen to match. The two pairs turned out a little different from one another. One dangled down longer, since I seem to have issues making the same thing more than once. I'll give the danglier ones to Corin, since she is the more experienced earring-wearer. You never know who might lose an eye if you give an overly-dangly pair to a rookie. Safety first.



Since I started this blog with the hopes of contributing to the internet-craftiness-sources that taught me all I know, I have made yet another picture-heavy tutorial for you! I learned, though, why there weren't many wire-wrapping tutorials out there when I was trying to learn. See, you need two hands to do the wrapping, and that leaves very few good options for taking the pictures. I could...

A) Try to mess with the timer on the camera. Get lots of dark, blurry shots of my shoulder or the wall behind me.
B) Hold the camera between my jaw and shoulder like when you talk on the phone while both hands are occupied. This results in more of the timer problems, coupled with the camera falling down my shirt. Those pictures might not make it past some of your internet content filters...
C) Ask my husband to spend half an hour watching me make the earrings so I would have my own personal cameraman for the event. The children will inevitably follow him into the room, resulting in a broken camera and one or more wire-cutting injuries. I decided I'd rather have him put the Christmas lights up.

So.... I took pictures of what things looked like in-between steps, since it left me with a free hand. If you get confused, Google wire-wrapping until you find a handier tutorial by someone who can manage multi-tasking and may actually know what they are doing. Also, the super-macro setting I used to focus on the tiny wire made it look like I have horrible man-hands. I have very lovely man-hands in real life...

*Disclaimer: I don't know much about this whole jewelry making thing, so I use a lot of made up names for stuff and fudge my way through most of it. I thought a tutorial by a beginner would help give people who wanted to try it out some confidence. If I can do it, so can you. (That's why I cook. Yan can do it.)

Step one: gather your tools. There is sterling silver jewelry wire... uhhh... some gauge that makes it bendy, but not too bendy? I don't remember what gauge. Time to Google for more information. Maybe this is not the most informative tutorial I have ever made... Baby nail-clippers to cut the wire, two sterling silver fishhooks earrings, flat-nosed jewelry pliers, tiny rounded pointy pliers (I should learn what to call all this stuff) and your beads.



Cut a nice long-ish (12 inches or more?) piece of the wire, and pull it through your fingers a few times to straighten it out a bit. Pinch it about 1" from the end with the flat pliers, and bend the ends down to get the wire the right shape to work with the teardrop bead. You'll have to straighten it out while threading, but this makes it easier to work with once it is threaded, I think.




Once the bead is threaded, bend the ends up towards the point of the bead and twist a few times. (Just like a twisty-tie for your bread bag.) Snip the extra from the short end.





Now make a loop by clamping the wire with the pointy pliers and wrapping around one plier-point. (This is where Google can clear things up again...) Pinch the loop with the flat pliers, and use your other hand to wrap the wire around a million times, starting directly below the loop and working down over the point of the bead as far as you want. Now, there is probably some magical technique I haven't run across yet that tells you how to finish this off so your wire doesn't lose its shape and get all bunchy, but I haven't learned it. I clip the wire just after turning past the edge of the bead, then bend it back at the tip or up or wherever I need to until the wire stays put. Pretty sure that's not the right way, but that's what I do.





Now take the wire leftover from the teardrop part, and make a tiny loop with the pointy pliers at one end. This is to hold your bead on the wire. You can get all fancy and make a swirly or something instead if you are feeling daring that day.



Thread your smaller beads onto the wire. For this pair of earrings, I made the three smaller-bead-danglies in three sizes: long, medium, and short, to make it awesome. Yes. It was awesome indeed. This picture is of the long one. Decide how long you want the dangly to be, and use your pointy pliers to bend the wire at a 90 degree angle there, and then make your loop. Now, don't mess with your loop too much. It probably won't be a nice pretty circle without a lot of practice, but that doesn't really matter. If you mess with reshaping it too much, it becomes weak. Then right when you have finished your lovely project, you put the earring on and the wire snaps and it falls apart. (That may have happened to me a few times...) After you make your loop, grip it with the flat pliers and use your other hand to wrap the wire down from the loop to the bead, like before with the teardrop, but you stop when you reach the bead. Clip the end close to the wrapped part. Mine look best when I focus on wrapping back and forth instead of trying to make the wire go downwards. (What does she mean, you say? Well, I make sense in my head, if not here...) Repeat for the other two round-bead danglies



Use your flat pliers to bend the loop on your fishhook earring to the side so you can slip your dangly-bead loops onto it. Start with the shortest round bead dangly. To attach the teardrop, make a loop in the end of a wire. About 1" or less up, make another loop perpendicular to the first, then clip. (See picture)





Put the teardrop-dangly on one end of this new loopy-wire thing, and thread the other end onto the fishhook loop. Make sure the pretty side of your teardrop wire will show when the earrings are hanging. (Not the oddly-cut and bent end of your teardrop wrapping.) Then add the medium round-bead dangly, then the longest round-bead dangly. Use the pliers to close the fishhook loop, and Ta-Da!!! You now have some amazing, sparkly earrings.





You can change up this design by using different beads, making the dangly parts different lengths, making more or less danglies, etc. For these red and black earrings I followed what I had done to make these ones a few months ago and made a few small changes.

So happy birthday Chelsey! (And additional Happy Birthday, Corin!)

O' Fun For... complicated quilters

Last year I made my family quilts for Christmas. I used fabric from my Grama T's sewing room scraps. This year I decided it was about time to make one for myself. I scoured the internet to find the most complex, time-consuming quilt pattern out there. Not really. I wanted something that would look cool with bright colors on white, and the part of myself that hasn't learned to simplify found this pattern. This blog simplified the process compared to other instructions I found for cathedral window quilts, but it still has a ridiculous number of steps. Why can't I learn to enjoy nice, simple projects? What is this crazy part of me that thinks cutting, folding, ironing, pinning, cutting more, folding more, and then sewing is a better plan than cut, pin, sew?

For my quilt I used Grama T fabric for all but about 10 of the 500-ish bright squares, and bought a ton of white quilting fabric for the rest. I made my white squares 12" instead of 9" since my quilt has hopes of becoming queen-sized, so enlarging the pattern made it 3" easier. (What?) Hmmm... what other changes.... I don't pin the white fabric "frame" down, I just fold while it is under the sewing-machine foot then quickly lower the foot and sew, taking one side at a time. When you have a few blocks sewn together, you'll notice that there is a tiny hole at the point where the "window" tips meet up. I sew a few stitches back and forth across this, just because it makes me feel better inside. My sewing motto is "Sew the crap out of it." Then I don't worry that the things I make are going to fall apart. Somehow they still manage to, though...

Here is where I have pinned my "window" squares up so I can choose which ones to use as I sew. I have a post-it where I keep track of the number of each color I have left, so I can make sure I don't end up with a bunch of reds at the end or something not awesome like that.



I cut and fold the white squares about 6 at a time, since this is the most tedious part. Getting them nice and square with clean, pointy corners is a freaking pain. Besides the occasional swearing to myself over the folding part, I have really enjoyed making this quilt so far. (Probably because I'm only about 1/20 done with it...) I like the fact that once you are done, there is no batting or backing or binding to deal with.



While I quilt, I listen to audiobooks on my IPod. I recommend books or short stories by Alexander McCall Smith- especially the Number 1 Ladies Detective Agency series, and the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde. The first one of that series has a brief languagey moment- don't hold that against me! (she says, shaking her fist threateningly...)

Wow. I sound so grown up and dull, discussing quilting and recommending books. Poo. There, now I feel better and less grown-up.

Now I just need to load a new book on my IPod, and I can use all this feeling-gross pregnant time to get a bunch of this giant project done. I'll post a picture sometime in 2018 or so when I am finished.

O' Fun For... people who enjoy huffing paint

I BLOGGED! See? Right here below, there is a PICTURE-HEAVY TUTORIAL on how to do freezer-paper stencils! The Terrorist has slightly relented, allowing me to finally blog for you all! (All 3 of you. You know who you are...) Verna is visiting, and she helped me with this handy tutorial extravaganza. Thanks, Verna! Everyone needs their own Verna.

On to the tutorial-

We will begin with my trip to Wal-Mart to replenish my stencil-spray paint stash. This is what to look for on the shelves in the craft section. They sell them in multi-packs of colors. Having tried a few, here's what I can tell you about them- Black works the best. It is nice and even and does not bleed. Red and Copper are thick, but work fine if you shake them enough. Orange is thick and spattery, but that can be fun. Silver bleeds like crazy, so take care not to use too much detail or lay it on thick.





Materials needed:
*Fabric paint (spray works best)
*Freezer paper
*Shirts or whatnot to spray onto
*paper to draw or print design onto
*Marker to draw design with
*exacto knife (I wish I had one...) box cutter, or scissors
*tape and scrap paper to protect shirt and work surface from over-spray
*self-healing mat or cardboard or something to put under the image while you cut it with the blade
*iron and ironing board
*awesomeness of some kind



I let Toby draw his own design and then outlined it in marker. (Well, I eliminated some of the detail. You try cutting all that detail with a box-cutter!) Brady requested Lightning McQueen.



Cut a piece of freezer paper big enough to cover the image and put it shiny-side down on top of your design. Put these both on top of the self-healing mat or cardboard if you are cutting with a knife or blade instead of scissors. Scissors don't work very well for most detailed designs. Cut your design out of freezer paper by tracing over your marker-lines with the blade.





Good luck keeping your kids' fingers out of the way while you are working. Maybe now is a good time for a Sponge-Bob break...



When you are done, the freezer paper should remain wherever you want the shirt color to show through, and you should have cut out areas where you want the paint to cover. Sometimes you will have little, unconnected pieces to put back in place when you lay the stencil on the shirt. Put the stencil shiny-side down on the shirt, then iron into place. My iron was set to high heat with no steam. In these examples, McQueen will stay shirt-colored and be outlined with paint color. The shark will be filled in with the paint color.





Once the stencil is ironed on to the paper, lay it out where you want to paint it. Cover areas of the shirt that you don't want painted with newspaper or scrap paper and tape it down so the over-spray doesn't creep on in. I like to cut corners, so I just folded the parts of the shirt not covered in freezer paper underneath. This makes the shirt all bumpy and not level, though, and if the paint is runny it will pool and bleed. (That's what I found out after using this slacker shortcut...) Shake the crap out of the can, point, and spray. Look, even Brady can do it!





I made a star shirt, and Verna made a flower shirt:




This is the point when you should take some Excedrin. The fumes will get you! I usually like to do the painting outside, but it was cold and wet today. After the paint is mostly dry, you can peel the freezer paper away and... TA-DA! Amazing! Here are today's finished products:

Thanks to the runny silver paint and the 3-year old "helper", this one bled a bit. Okay, a lot...



Toby's shark worked well:



My stars bled a ton, too. I laid the paint on way too heavy.



Verna got the hang of the silver. Super groovy, Verna!



Here is a dragon shirt we made for Toby when he started school. The image wraps around the entire shirt. To paint it I ironed the stencil on the front and back and then held it from a hanger outside while I sprayed the paint.




This is an example of what can happen when I don't force myself to simplify. Here's to you, James Taylor:




Phew! Well, I think that may have made up for 5 weeks of no posts. Don't expect another one that long for a while, but I will try to keep up with my blog!